


Apocalyptic

by Sebastian_txt



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Daniel Howell - Fandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil, danisnotnfire - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebastian_txt/pseuds/Sebastian_txt
Summary: In post apocalyptic London, Dan leads a small group of scavengers part of an underground civilization. While out on a supplies mission, he runs into a hidden, sick and terrified Phil. He takes mercy on the man and takes him back to his civilization.Warning: There is some violence however it is not graphic so I did not apply that as a warning.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in a while, I hope you like it.

Dan looks out the pocket onto the wasteland that used to be London. It’s empty of humans so he motions for the others to follow him as he pops out the grate, climbing onto what used to be 1st Street. The run swiftly and quietly through the rubble, looking for food, water and anything substantial. Dan separates from the group, sweeping behind what used to be a gym. It had been almost a month since tragedy struck so everyone's wounds were still fresh but any findable food was most likely not. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a small jar of something. Knowing they’re incredibly low on food and fueled by starvation, he sneaks up on it. He snatches up what turns out to be just a small jar of honey. Although pleasant and edible, it is not truly food. 

His head whips around as he hears a scurrying, pulling out his knife and hoping for a small game animal in all the smog. Instead, when he pulls back the rubble, he finds a man. The man has piercing blue eyes and pale skin, he looks like he hasn’t moved in months, nor truly eaten. 

“Please don’t hurt me”, The man says, his voice low and shaky, “You can take my food, I don’t have much just please don't hurt me,” Dan feels himself soften as he puts his knife away. Denying the peanut butter and moldy bread, instead holding out his hand. The man held out his pale of water, “You- You can have this if it-”

“You can come with me. I won’t hurt you,” Dan says, suddenly assertive. The scared manl looks into the deep chocolate eyes that have clearly been through the same war he has been, and taking his hand. He stands tentatively, his thin legs unsteady as he slowly walks through the rubble. 

“I’m Phil, thank you for helping me?” Phil says it in a way that almost sounds like a question. 

“Daniel, or Dan,” He tries to muster up a smile for the boy he was helping through the rocks and debris, but he knows it looks more awkward than comforting. 

He knocks on the grate, causing the rest of his team to jog back with their supplies. As they climb through, he looks at Phil's anxious and amazed face. 

“Way to go, Dan, instead of food you got another mouth to feed!”

“Hey, I also got some honey and peanut butter, he needed help anyway,” Dan defends himself from the pestering man, carrying his food that couldn’t fit on his belt. 

Phil looks around, his mouth dropping at the shacks and walls built into the somewhat metropolitan underground world. He couldn’t tell exactly what it had been, it was too big for a train station and there was no stairs, just a long rickety ladder, but there was no waste like in a sewer. 

“Jackson, can you take my supplies? It’s not much and I need to show him around and then get him a place to stay” A shorter blond man nods, taking the minimal supplies. 

“Here is the ‘clean’ water, it’s not great but you won’t get sick,” Dan says, gesturing to a small, primitive looking spigot, “Heres where I am, you can come to me if you need anything,” Dan supports Phil with his arm, showing him all the attributes of the place. “In about an hour we will have dinner, however there is no real way to tell time so whenever you hear three loud knocks, assume you come to the common area,” Phil nods, his stomach audibly growling as he’s barely eaten for weeks. 

Dan goes and talks to someone, nodding slowly as he walks back. 

“Alright, Phil, I have permission to make you an area, i’ll put you near me so that I can help, also there’s not much space anywhere else,” Phil nods, “I’ll get the supplies now and we’ll make it after we eat. If you need to lay down just go into mine, it says Gen. Dan H on it,” Phil nods, going to get a drink. 

He drinks a bit, grateful for the water, clearly dehydrated. He walks to Dan’s little space, its three walls, no roof and a sliding wall he brings back to get into the place. Inside is simply a place to sleep and a few personal belongings that were clearly brought from before the event. 

He turns around quickly when he hears a clatter, looking out to see Dan dumping what would soon be his shack onto the ground across from him. 

The shacks resembled a block in a city, pathways infront each ‘house’ in an intricate pattern. 

“You’ll be across from me,” He says, smiling and surprising Dan, his curly hair flopping in his face. 

“Yeah,” He smiles, stepping towards his area and Phil, “I can’t get a mattress for you but you can have a pillow and two blankets, well, they’re more of just pieces of cloth but you get it,” Phil sees that Dan has a mattress and one thing that resembles a blanket but no pillow. He nods, smiling. 

“That’s great,” Dan nods, his face as serious as ever. 

“I’m glad you’re okay with it all,” Phil is more than okay, he was on the street scared for his life less than two hours ago and now he was about to eat food with a civilisation-ish group.

“Dan, I was under a piece of plywood drinking out of a bucket this morning,” Dan chuckles, he looks like he’s going to say something but then hears what means dinner, escorting Phil there in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter just like settling in, I wanted to write longer chapters but I tend to not do it if i don't spread it out??? So I hope you like it.

Phil sits next to Dan, eating the miscellaneous, cafeteria like meal put in front of him as if it were a gourmet dish prepared by a god. 

Dan, almost subconsciously, watches him eat, holding back a smile that begs to break free. 

When they are done eating and people begin to rise and go to their homes, to chatter, to dance or whatever they decide to do. Phil looks amazed as a girl plays a worn violin she somehow brought from the surface in a fast beat, adults and children alike dancing around her. Their feet match the rhythm that Phil recognizes but could not say for sure what it was. 

“Phil, help me please,” Dan says, holding up two of the walls, “Just hold them like this, I’ll do most of it,” Phil helps with minor things to make the shack. Dan puts Phils bedding into it when it’s done. Then, he pulls a pocket knife out, when he flicks it open, Phil twitches back. He is still extremely frightened at the possibility of this being a death trap. Dan carves ‘Phil’ aggressively into the thin wood.

“What’s your last name? There’s another Phil and you don’t have a rank or anything,” That’s when Phil realises that the ‘gen.’ on Dans door means ‘general’. He is unsure how you would rise up in this or what that entails, is this an army? He looks up and sees a strange look on Dan’s face. 

“Oh- Lester,” Phil says, a deep blush spreading across his face, “Hey is the ‘Gen’ on your door general?” Phil asks, his voice shaky. 

“Yes, but like, in an army, not ‘general population’ or anything,” Dan mumbles, carving a sharp ‘Les’ after Phil’s name, who assumes there’s another ‘Phil L’. 

“I-Is this an army?” Phil’s voice squeaked out, terrified. 

Dan looks at him, pausing before laughing a little bit, “No,” He says, “It just means that I lead surface missions,” Phil nods as Dan breezes past him into what is his temporary, or possibly long term, home. Phil turns to face him as if to say something before watching him close his door most of the way, “Sorry, I need to sleep, if you need anything urgently, you may wake me, if not, please wait until morning. Goodnight, Phil,” With that he shuts the sliding door the rest of the way. 

“Goodnight,” Phil says, hoping the sound makes it through. He walks into the shack, setting up a bed like space as he makes it in what could be comfortable ish, he thinks about how upsetting it is that he doesn’t have any of his things at all besides his broken glasses and the cloths on his back. He strips the dirty rags off and puts his glasses on top of them, laying down on the concrete with the pillow under his head and neck. 

He has trouble sleeping that night, despite this being the most comfortable way he’s slept in a month. Today had been the first eventful day since the day this all began. The most he had done was leave his makeshift shelter for under ten minutes at a time. Today, he got taken to a civilised area, ate decent food, made a home (well, Dan did), and well, Dan. 

He liked Dans hair, his eyes, his voice. He hated that he had to go through this and become this hardened man built for survival because something about him showed that it clearly had not always been like this. 

Dan would be the last person to think of a romance at a time like this, he isn’t a teen girl in a YA dystopian novel. However, Phil’s soft eyes, the faded dye in his hair, his smile which he managed to keep despite the extreme hardships. All this and more caused the struggle against wanting to be with him so much harder. Whenever that man talked, Dan just watched with an intensity he was surprised Phil didn’t notice. 

He drifted to sleep that night thinking about cuddling with Phil, he knew the first few nights down here were hard and hoped he was having an easier time than he did settling in.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil wakes up to a bustle outside, there doesn’t seem to be a time you have to wake up by but it does seems standard to wake up around now. 

Phil walks out and goes to get some water, running into Dan. 

“Morning,” Dan says, his voice deep and gruff with sleep. 

“Morning,” Phil says, his voice somehow more chipper than normal despite the early hour, despite the rough sleeping conditions, they were about a million times better than what he had gotten on what used to be the streets. 

As soon as Phil gets nearly back to his hut, he hears the three familiar rapts, swiftly turning on his back leg and walking towards the center. He sits next to Dan looking at him for guidance.

“We get breakfast and dinner, today you should try and get some sort of job or people will start to get upset you’re not pulling your weight, go see Beth after breakfast,” Phil looks to where Dan is pointing, seeing a raggedy, but probably once well business oriented woman. They eat their food in silence, before Dan gets up, he’s got a bag and a belt Phil remembered he had had on when he found him. A group of people stood up with him as they walked towards the latter. Phil watches the man leave before getting up and going to see Beth. 

“Hello, I was told to see you ‘bout a job?” Phil says in an incredibly anxious voice. 

She turns to him, surveying his malnourished but tall form, his unreparable (without an optometrist) glasses, and his over all outward look. Phil can feel his ever aspect being intensely surveyed, knowing his approach and posture probably didn’t help. 

“You’ll stay down here, at least for now,” She says, Phil doesn’t know what to say, he needs an actual job, “We want to get some livestock here so we can make our own food and such as the surface is getting harder and harder to find food on. When that happens, I want to put you on it a bit, we don’t have them yet but today finding such living things, hang tight until then, name and sector?”

“Phil Lester, and I-I’m sorry but I don’t know my sector. I’m across to Dan Howell, if that helps?” She nods. 

“I will find you there or at the dinner after they come back with it, hopefully, in the next few weeks,” Phil nods before returning to his area. He sits on his blankets, unsure what to do with his time before he sees a small thing on the floor a few feet away. He picks up what turns out to be a small, tattered notebook that a school child would have, and a ballpoint pen. He opened it to the first page where he sees blue, sloppy, smudged handwriting. 

Phil,   
I found some stuff like this on missions, if you want to read, I have a couple books. We arn’t completely supposed to bring personal items back from missions because we need all the space for food but I want you to have this as it helps me.   
-Daniel Howell

He looks at the writing in utter shock, happy at the gift and that the boy helped him. He knew Dan was just trying to help him, but wanted to assign a deeper meaning to it, even though he knew damn well that this was far from the time to think about stuff like this. 

He puts it under his pillow as he gets up and peeks back into Dans room again. He sees, amongst what he thought were personal items (and were) and to a small stack of four books. He picks up the top one, a worn hardcover copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. Phil had read it as it was a required reading and he had majored in English so he picked it up, wanting a familiar thing in this whirlwind of new events. 

Meanwhile, Dan looked with the rest of his team in a suffocating climate. They prepared to be gone all day as they left the large city, luckily their civilization was close to one edge and they managed to walk the four miles to a more rural area. Although they hadn’t been hit as hard, there was still almost no life here, save for a few useless rats. Finally, towards the end of the day, they come across a few (barely) living chickens. They easily take them, as well as the rotten corn they had been eating, back to the civilization. 

They come down the ladder with a commotion at the bottom as people crowded around, Dan surveyed the crowd, finding himself subconsciously looking for Phil, but doesn’t see him. As people get to work building a pen and nursing the chickens back to health, him and his team get to go rest for the short time left before dinner. 

He slides open his door, seeing Phil laying on his bed, a book over his head. He can’t help but smile as Phil sits up with a panicked look on his face. 

“It’s alright,” Dan says, chuckling slightly as a bright red blush spreads across Phil's face. 

“Thank you,” Phil says, putting the book down and standing up, “For everything.”

“Anytime,” Dan says, not fully realizing his body is blocking the exit. 

“Uh, how was your mission?” Phil says as he finally brushes past Dan. He is eager to get out, despite wanting to spend more time with the man for he is petrified of the impression Dan will get of him. 

“Fine, we got some chickens so hopefully we’ll have some eggs and well, chicken,” Phil nods, Dan finally thinks to step out of the way. 

“Oh well, I was told I would help with animals if they got any so I should probably go,” Dan nods as Phil slips past him and walks out. Dan sighs, poking his head out quickly. 

“Phil,” The other whips around, “You can borrow the book to read for a while, i’ll put it in your area,” Phil smiles, shouting back his thanks before hurrying to do his job. He gets to the bustling area that will soon be for agriculture and life stock still with a smile on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is lame, this hole thing is lame, but the first acknowledged gay shit happens here (they just kiss dw) and idk if I wanna put any smut in this but either way it wouldn't be for a while longer.

Phil had never worked with chickens before, but thought it would be like, well, a movie. You'd throw some corn and they would peck it up while you grabbed some eggs. That is not how it works, especially when you’re feeding them shitty scraps. Phil sits there, nursing chickens and breaking up apple cores and such with an elderly woman and a twenty-something year old girl. 

He’s made aware by the old woman that they won’t do what they’re here to do for a while considering they are deathly underfed. He gladly rushes to the dinner area as soon as he hears the alert, already adjusting to this lifestyle as he has no choice. 

He looks around for Dan, wandering over to him once he has his ration. He feels as if he’s back in a high school cafeteria as he wanders over and asks timidly for permission to sit with him. Dan smiles with the corner of his lip, nodding as Phil sits next to him. 

“How many people do you think live down here?” Phil asks, trying to break the silence. 

“‘Bout 150, it’s a lot but not that many,” Phil knew about how many 150 was, however it really did seem like more. Despite the high ceilings and the area being about the size of about two high school gyms, that is incredibly compact to spend days in. As well as to have a bathroom area, water, housing, a place to eat and now livestock. They chatter slightly, mostly about the way things were here.

“Dan, what did you like before? Like, what were your favorite movies, shows, uh bands, anything?” Dan looks slightly shocked, but after dinner they were free until after breakfast the next day. 

“Don’t make fun of me, but i was a fucking weeb,” Dan stands up, holding a hand out to Phil who smiles as he takes it. They walk back to their areas, standing outside Phils talking about what they enjoyed just a month or so ago. They laugh and joke until people started to sleep, neither wanting to stop but also not knowing how to continue. 

“Want to come inside?” Phil says, barely thinking beyond sitting down and talking quieter. 

“Yeah, but mine because mattress,” Dan responds. 

“Fair point,” They roll the door back, both flopping onto the mattress. Both are already comfortable around the other. 

Phil stretches out, not thinking about the action as he gets comfortable for the first time in months. 

“This is like the apocalyptic version of inviting a guy up for a beer,” Dan says, taking Phil by surprise. It clearly takes him a moment to understand before he starts giggling, his tongue sticking out a little. 

“Is it weird if i say that that's cute?” Dan says, you could hear the sleepiness in his voice as he says the kind of things he had been refraining from saying. He barely knew the guy but the combination of a helpless and lonely situation plus the personality and factors that would have made him pursue him in any other circumstances made Dans walls fall down. 

Phil doesn’t know how to respond, before this he hadn’t truly interacted with someone in about a month, and the thirty year old had not had a real relationship since he was twenty two or twenty three. He hadn’t even had time to like people, a few times he had some cheap sex or something but never did he meet a man and go into this whirlwind of just wanting to protect them. 

Dan was on the opposite end, he was twenty five (or so, his birthday may have passed already but he wasn’t sure). About a week before everything went down and caused these bitter ruins and conditions, he left his fiance. Dan, although a loyal partner, was always someone who craved that kind of attention. He stared into the pale eyes across from him, butterflies swirling in his stomach as he flirted with him even just slightly. 

Phil reaches his hand out, running it through the curly mob on the other boys head. Dan nuzzles his cheek into Phil's hand, grateful for the human contact.

“C-can I kiss you?” Phil says, nervously. Dan smiles, nodding his head as he shuts his eyes. Phil leans forward slowly, kissing him lightly, their lips barely brushing. He stays there after, neither wanting to move, lying close together, not cuddling but in contact.

Dan falls asleep like that a few minutes later, feeling safe for the first time in immediate memory. Phil lays there for a while, unsure of his course of action but not thinking it would be appropriate to wake up here. He slowly gets up, putting Dans blanket over him and looking at him for a few moments. Despite the world he was shoved into, feeling somehow happy and appreciating the blossoming relationship he didn’t know he needed. 

Phil opens his door, laying down cautiously on the blanket, his head on the dirty pillow as he tries to fall asleep, thoughts of Dan already keeping him awake that night. Half of him screaming because he knew the guy for two fucking days, while the other wants him to run with it. He doesn’t know how this would even work down here, it’s not like he can take Dan on a date. He guesses that it would just be like ‘seeing each other’ meaning hanging out, and then boyfriends. But, who even knows if this would work out? 

Phil knows he is overthinking this as he slowly drifts off to sleep, his back and neck already aching after only two and a half nights sleeping here. 

His dreams romance him with what previously would have been considered an average lifestyle. All Phil's subconscious wants is an apartment, maybe a dog, he makes it Dan in his head but in his waking he would be shocked that he could think like this right now. He already cared for a man he barely knew, drawn together by the situation at hand. 

In Phils dream, him and Dan lived in London in a small townhouse, they had a dog called Andrew (why? He could not tell you) and their walls were soft yellow. They were just chatting at a blue breakfast bar before sitting down to watch a cartoon he couldn’t quite make out. What just months before would have been considered incredibly simple is now an impossible reach for Phil.


	5. Chapter 5

Phil wakes up to the noise thing signalling breakfast, getting up slowly and stretching before putting on his cloths, he wants to ask Dan if he can get another set or at least wash these. They’re dirty and practically rags, plus the fact that he has on an Adventure Time t-shirt in the middle of the fucking apocalypse doesn’t feel right. 

When he slides open his door, Dan is waiting for him. He realizes Dan has 2 sets of clothing because he isn’t wearing what he has worn every other time he’s seen him.

“I don’t have to go out today,” Dan says as an explanation, “Also, I waited for you,” Phil smiles, walking with Dan to the main area and getting his ration. They sit off to the side together, silently eating with only the occasional glance at one another. 

“So…” Dan says, getting Phil's attention, “About last night, I know it was stupid and I, well I understand why you wouldn’t want that, with how things are and all. You’re just-I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be,” Phil says, not even realizing he spoke, “I mean I like you so I guess it’s good?” Dan can’t help but smile, “Like if you wanted to try and somehow have some sort of relationship I would be good with that?” Phil says everything as a question. Dan can’t hold back a grin as he puts his hand on Phil's leg. 

“I’d like to give it a chance,” Phil smiles, looking into the prettiest set of brown eyes he’d ever seen. Then Dan adds on, “I don’t know how apocalyptic dating would go though, I guess we just hang out until we’re comfy labeling it?” Phil nods, putting his hand over Dan's, which is still on his leg. 

“Sounds about right,” Phil says, biting his lip. 

“Well, my day is off, how long is your work?” Dan says, breaking the somewhat awkward silence. 

“I don’t know, it just became a job yesterday, but right now I really just have to feed chickens twice a day and make sure they're, ya know, not dead,” Dan smiles. 

“So, not much?”

“Yeah, we only have chickens and they don’t lay eggs yet, they’re on the verge of death still,” Dan nods, looking off for a second. 

“So, we can hang out?” Phil laughed, nodding. As Phil spent more time with Dan, he realized the man he initially thought was incredibly tough is actually among the softest people ever. His eyes, clearly scared, also shined with pure hope, his calloused and rough skin still somehow radiated pure intentions. 

Phil feeds the chickens with Dan standing awkwardly off as the older woman gets water for them and the girl avidly avoids her bare minimal work requirement. Phil checks on a few before the woman, Gloria, nods him off. Telling him to visit with his friend, as Dan blushes quietly a little ways off. 

“Hey, Danny!” Phil says, running from excitement to see the man, who laughs. 

“Danny?” Phil chuckles, unsure of where they’re going. As if he had read his mind, Dan says “Wanna go to my area, or main, or, I guess yours, but mines more comfy,” Phil smiles, kind of wanting to go to Dan’s area but unsure of the implications. 

“I think you’re house might be best,” Dan nods, leading the way.

“House is a very generous observation,”

“It has walls and you live in it, shut the fuck up” Phil says, blushing profusely in light of his slip up. 

They both sit on the familiar mattress, staring at one another for a few moments before one speaks.

“I’ve been here a month and I didn’t really have anyone who wanted to see me before,” Dan says, causing the older man to startle, “I mean,” Dan continues, “I had the guys who would talk to me on missions and some people who would talk to me sometimes, but on the rare days off, I’d just sit here. And you know, you need people down here,” Phil nods, wanting to reach out to the boy but not knowing how. He knows what Dans been through all too well, grateful he didn’t have to be here with no one. Although he had no idea what the appropriate response would be, he reached out and hugged Dan. He’s shocked when Dan tightens his grip, burying his face into Phil's shoulder, “Sorry, I just, I didn’t have people before ever and here I am, I need someone around,” Phil nods, just continuing to hold him. 

Phil knows it’s stupid, but he already feels as if he could confide in this man, and he can tell he feels the same. 

A while later, with Dan calm, they talk about a movie Phil had seen just a day before the event that Dan had wanted to see. Phil explains it in the best detail he can, acting out parts, his ridiculous acting he correlated with the heroic lines making Dan laugh. These joyful moments though, are fleeting and bittersweet. Because, with every turn and mistake Phil makes, he is aware that in all likelihood he would never see a movie again. That’s not it, of course, but the implications that life would probably never be normal again, even if it was, then they would still have this memory that seems more like a nightmare. 

Somehow, they pass the time until dinner, jumping around and laughing, telling stories and re enacting their favorite shows for one another. The meal is a special kind of bad as they sit with their backs against the far wall, talking occasionally.

They get ready for bed separately, Dan informing him that tomorrow, every five days, everyone bathes so stock up on water to avoid grossness. 

Once they reach their shacks, Dan kisses Phil on the cheek before smiling and saying good night. Phil sits down, reading a little bit before going to sleep. He would be lying if he said he was not a little sad that Dan didn’t invite him in for a while.


	6. Chapter 6

Phil wakes up with a groan, he barely slept the night before, for some reason he had been jittery all night. He shuffles out the door, looking at the floor through his broken glasses, almost immediately bumping head on into Dan. 

“Sorry, tired” He mumbled, finally looking up just to look Dan over in his outside clothes. He knew it was stupid, but the uniform esque costume was incredibly cute. It was almost like they were living a normal life, Dan had a work outfit. 

“It’s all good, I’m leaving immediately after breakfast so i’m saying good bye now,” Dan says, giving Phil a quick peck on the lips before running off, leaving Phil slightly confused. They had breakfast together, why was he saying bye now?

When Phil reached breakfast he saw why, Dan was there, giving a pep talk as he ate his brown bread. They were to get whatever food they could find as well as any livestock or seeds. Phil didn’t know how they could possibly plant anything, the floor was concrete in some parts and dirt in the others, like it was never finished. The concrete was out of the question and the dirt was the opposite of fertile. The chickens were on it and whenever Phil knelt in it, he came up sandy at worst, the dirt falling off in dry flakes. Dan had two bags, like all the other men as they climbed up the ladder and out of the civilization. Dan looked back right before reaching the surface and smiled at Phil. Although he did smile, Phil noticed the almost sad and worrisome look. 

Phil goes to see the chickens, greeting Gloria and the young girl who he learnt was named Emma before feeding the chickens some crumbs. Gloria is doing her daily check for eggs or anything as Emma does her usual nothing. 

“The mission today is a big deal, Philip,” Gloria says, telling Phil the usual gossip or facts and subsequently getting his undivided attention with this topic, “They’ve been planning for it for about two weeks, they’ve been,” She shakes her head, looking back at an obviously worried Phil, “They’ll all be gone for at least three nights, they’re going out of town-”

“What the fuck?!” Phil interrupts suddenly. 

“What? Your little boyfriend, Daniel, didn’t tell you?” She says, although she had just previously been describing it in a way you would to someone who had no idea, as Phil did. 

“No, he… he didn’t”

“He probably didn’t want you to worry, love,” Gloria says, smiling before cheering and holding up one, small egg. Phil tries to be excited but the news shook him to the core. 

“What? Did he think I wouldn't worry if he just didn’t come home tonight?” Phil asks, following Gloria to Beth so they could show the egg. 

“Philip, I just do not know the intent. Maybe he just did not have the heart to tell you and guessed someone else would. Love, I can’t deal with this, go ask around if you want,” Gloria says as hey reach Beth and she holds the egg up high. Phil walks away, trying to ignore the hot tears running down his face as he walks back to his area, lying down and tossing the book Dan had lent him to the side. 

The day crawls on without Dan, the whole community is worried about the group and about the shortage of food. Phil doesn’t leave for diner, remember a small book he saw in Dans room, peeking out before walking across. He shuts the door behind him before going to where he saw the notebook. He finally finds it, opening up to the most recent entry. 

‘I can’t bring this with me as I won’t have time or space but I have to leave tomorrow. Things are starting to go poorly here and I have to take the boys out of town. I’m so fucking worried and I know they are, too. I meant to tell Phil but couldn’t do it. I’ll do it in the morning. I had a great day with him and already care about him way too fucking much and I hate it because we’re in no position to have any sort of relationship. I have to get rest for tomorrow's shit,  
-Daniel James Howell’  
Phil sits back, almost wishing he hadn’t read that, wishing he didn’t know Dan was scared. Knowing Dan was scared scared him, also feeling an immense guilt for this invasion of privacy now that he knew Dan had just pussied out of telling him. He puts the book back but is unable to get up, it is as if a heavy weight is holding him down as his eyes blur again. He knows it’s stupid but he lays down, falling asleep on Dans bed for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know where I want this to go but we'll see.
> 
> Also should I put smut? Idk

The next three days were some of the longest days of Phil's life, after that he could have hope of them being back soon. He went to work, ate and wandered around in a kind of haze. Gloria was sweet to him as they fed the chickens. They named some, jokingly, and Phil feigned excitement every time another egg was found. He also made sleeping in Dan's room a habit, just liking to be among his things. 

Phil hated that he felt this way just with Dan gone because he knew it was idiotic, he barely knew the man. Yet, he hadn’t had somebody to lean on in a long time and there was just such a pleasant relief in having that. Even if it was for some, possibly dead, scared kid who showed why tribes used to be nomadic. 

On the night of the fourth day, Phil was asleep on Dan's bed, a book open on his chest as he enters a dreamless sleep. He awakes violently as he hears the door get dragged open, fearing it’s someone in charge, he hides the book and starts to make an excuse about the mattress being nice before he hears a chuckle through his half asleep fog and a large person lay down next to him. His eyes finally clear and his mouth bursts into a grin. 

“Dan! You’re back! Are you okay?” Dan smiles, pulling Phil into his chest. 

“I’m okay,” He says, Phil can tell he’s not great but with that kind of mission, he’s lucky he survived and isn’t in excruciating pain currently. 

“Sorry, I took your bed,” Phil says, starting to try and move out.

“Please, stay,” Dans voice is small and anxious, Phil relaxes against him. Dan felt like he needed someone, at least this night. It had been a hard couple of days and he was incredibly grateful to feel the warmth of someone else, grateful that he’s not alone. Two people in Dans group had died, most of them were injured, Dan was lucky and only sprained his ankle when he fell climbing something on the way back. It had been difficult, but they could almost be self sufficient soon, they had gotten plants and a few skinny pigs he’s still unsure of how they survived. He held Phil closer as he thought about the time he spent outside and how lucky he was they got back in the middle of the night so he didn’t have to report before morning. They had fed the pigs and put the plants out of their reach and then he had come to bed. 

Phil could feel how tense the other man was but stayed quiet, not knowing what to say in that matter. He finally dozes off again to the sound of Dans soft heartbeat, feeling his steady breathing. 

In the morning, Phil wakes up to the breakfast sounds, untangling himself from Dan and grabbing his glasses. He gets dressed, suddenly embarrassed about his lack of outfit last night, he hadn’t really noticed until now, he had only slept in a t shirt and boxers. He goes over and taps Dan, wanting to let him sleep but knowing he has stuff to do and would be angry if he let him sleep right now. 

 

Dan wakes up, stretching his arms and legs, looking up at Phil with his large, beautiful, brown eyes. 

“It’s time for breakfast and I thought you would like to be up for it,” Phil says, his voice quite as Dan nods in response. He sits up slowly, still in his outside uniform thing. 

“I’m gonna change, you can go without me and i’ll meet you there,” Dan says, smiling and kissing Phil on the cheek before standing up. 

“Okay,” Phil says, slipping outside before deciding to just wait for Dan here. 

When Dan walks out, he jumps at the unexpected site of Phil, causing him to chuckle a little. They walk to the main area, the backs of their hands brushing against each other slightly. Dan is incredibly anxious about having to explain the pros and cons of their mission and is secretly overjoyed that Phil is there with him. They grab their breakfast somehow without interruption and go to eat in the corner. This lasts about five minutes before there is a crowd around Dan and he stands to salute. 

“Jeremy Briggs and Alexia Carol sadly died, we retrieved three pigs, two tomato plants, one pea plant, apple seeds, and one piece of corn we could use as seeds,” Dan says, his stance rigid as he addresses everyone that’s in charge of him. 

“We will have a service for our fallen in one hour and then we will work on getting the soil ready for planting,” Beth says, nodding at Dan, “Thank you for your report, anything else?”

“No, ma’am,” Dan responds, Beth nods and walks away. 

Dan slouches back down next to Phil, sighing deeply. Phil looks him over, he looks stressed but also like a wave of it just left him. They finish their breakfast in silence, both glancing at the other every so often. 

“Looks like I have my work cut out for me today, so i’ll see you later?” Phil says, standing up. 

“I’ll help, it looks like after the funeral we’re all gonna have to help try and get the soil usable and dig holes and plant and all that,” Dan smiles, standing with Phil.

“No offense, but how are plants going to grow in here?” Phil says, causing Dan to laugh a little.

“I have no fucking idea,” They both laugh as they get a drink, they have about half an hour before the memorial and so Dan takes Phil to look over the new livestock. 

“Do we have those plant lights? You know, the electric ones that let them grow without the sun?” Dan shrugs, unsure.

“I think we might have some somewhere but i’m not sure, we really shouldn’t be underground,” Phil shakes his head. Soon enough, they hear the signal and go and sit towards the back for the memorial. 

Phil doesn’t even know what the people look like as Beth talks about them, he looks over to see hot, silent tears running down Dans cheek. He grabs his hand and squeezes it in reassurance, Dan squeezing back. After that, they all stand up and talk for a few moments before being told to go and work. 

The work is hard, Dan churns dirt and adds water to the soil as Phil feeds and inspects the chickens and new pigs. Some of the stronger people, climb up and add those weird special lights that can substitute for sunlight. They all plant the plants, spreading it out and stretching the use of seeds as best they could. It takes until nearly dinner time, but they finish, everyone walking slowly and exhaustively to the common area to eat. 

“Now it’s your issue to take care of all that,” Dan says, almost tauntingly. 

“Yeah, the job is multiplying in difficulty fast,” Phil says, still starving despite eating all of his ration. 

“Hey,” Dan shoves him slightly, “At least we’ll all have more food,” He winks, as if he read Phil's mind. They walk back to their area, stopping outside Dans, awkwardly. 

“Phil- uh I was wondering if you wanna just grab your pillow and blanket and stay in here, like, uh all the time?” Dan says, looking at the floor, “You’ll still have your area to spend down time and stuff but I figured we could maximise use of our supplies?” Dan says, trying to not sound like he just wanted to sleep in the same bed as Phil, despite that being the truth. Phil nods, eagerly grabbing his stuff. Neither care about the suspicious nature anymore, they are pretty much dating. 

They settle in somewhat more comfortably then last night, facing one another in the pale light of the grates and the few lights they can’t turn off. 

“Hey, Dan?” Phil says, whispering in the darkness.

“Mhhm,” Dan mutters, sleepily. 

“Would you be my boyfriend?” Phil says, he can’t help but chuckle a little. Dan’s eyes suddenly shoot open, he’s smiling ear to ear. 

“Hell yeah,” He says, causing Phil to laugh a little at his over eager attitude. Phil pulls him closer and kisses him, softly. 

“I know it’s stupid, but right now, I’m really happy,” Phil says, as they separate, their foreheads still pressed together. 

“Me too,”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An awkward encounter I wrote late last night and basically shitty ramblings of character thoughts. I know,,,, but I ended up liking it.

They wake up in the morning, bodies still entangled as they get up slowly and groggily. Technically, you don't have to wake up when they call for breakfast but if you don't, you don't eat and may be late for your job so most people just do it. 

The woman who has the block next to Dan’s is a tall, slim woman with dark messy hair and deep brown eyes. She is about thirty-five and incredibly kind, although Phil has not many conversations with her, you can hear anything above a whisper from the immediate area and she is always caring. As well as her soft face radiating a mother like presence. Phil knows her name is Alyssa and she was among the first people to end up here, but he does not know her job. 

So when the two men walk out and she smiles, they think nothing of it. That is until she stops them a few feet later, showing as if she believed they would stop for a chat. That would have been the polite thing to do, how ever neither Dan nor Phil thought of it. 

“Sorry if this is intrusive but are you guys a couple? If so I think it’s really sweet and I won't tell on you guys,” She says, smiling slightly and nervously as a light blush rises to her face. 

Neither man knows what to say, glancing at one another panickedly. They hadn’t thought about Alyssa and what she would hear, nor how they respond. 

“Yeah, thanks for not telling people,” Dan says, smiling. Alyssa nods in response. 

“Yeah, uh it’s good to have someone and I wouldn’t ruin that for you,” She says, this whole thing has been sufficiently awkward and sets alarms off in Phils head. He ignores these because he believes her, she believes herself, too. 

“Thank you,” Dan says, “We should talk more, see you later” then he grabs Phil’s arm and they walk towards the main area. Dan is slightly unnerved by the unexpected encounter but knows nothing will come of it, besides a nosey neighbour. She is a sweet woman, but when he said she had a motherly air about her, he wasn’t wrong. Because of this, when speaking to her more than small, kind words, you often become anxious and uncomfortable. 

They eat breakfast and then Phil goes to help with the animals, distracted by thoughts of Dan as he nurses animals and plants back to health, watering their sickly figures and feeding the thin animals. It’s shocking anyone survived the night, let alone until now. Everything is dismal and Phil knows that, even if they left the underground, the sky would be grey as a cold, yet not crisp or helpful wind, blows. The air up there is dry, like the oxygen got sucked from it, like you’re deeper underground than they are here. The precipitation is few and far between and when it rains, it pours. The streets nearly flooded for days, down here the gross water flows through the grates, its musky stench fumigating the entire area. There was little life, you had to search it out meticulously. And if you happened to find a living human, they were likely to be thin, sickly and terrified. They didn’t know how many, if any, other societies there were throughout London and the surrounding areas. They didn’t know how much of the world was effected, for all they knew, it could have only been England, or it could be the whole world. 

Somehow, the world they once thrived in is far more depressing than their underground sanction, here they could almost imagine the bustling streets of London being as they once were. Beth could imagine running down the street, her heels clicking on the sidewalk, into the office in which she worked to provide a sales idea. She can almost imagine that she wasn’t shaken off her feet as she stepped off the elevator, she could almost imagine that the elevator hadn’t fallen seconds later, that she hadn’t run so fast she lost her shoes, that the building hadn’t come down moments after she ran out. 

Alyssa can pretend she walked into her hair salon, talking to the girls who worked for her before settling in to do her regulars. In her mind, she can be chatting it up with Mrs. Johnson about her soap operas. She can come home to a fresh cooked meal by her husband and her two kids running around her heels. She can pretend that the she hadn’t rushed out of the salon, her leg hurt as the chemicals caught fire behind her. She can pretend she didn’t pass out moments later, that she knows what happened to her family. 

Gloria can imagine that she will go see her grand kids tomorrow, that she’s knitting a blanket for Baby Benny, that she’ll see Grant and Susan for the potluck. She can pretend that she bakes brownies and cookies for the potluck, that she visits her husband's grave on her way to her daughters. Instead that her car crashed when disaster struck, that the crowd didn’t carry her through the chaos, that she didn’t end up here because a young man told her it would be safer in the underground. 

Dan could imagine taking his camera down to the country to take pictures of the grass, old houses and flowers. He could imagine coming home and kissing Josh, talking about his menial day and the bratty child he had to photograph. He can pretend that the breakup didn’t happen and that he hadn’t stormed out and down the hall to a bar. That he didn’t sleep in this shitty motel a mile from his flat. He could imagine that the building didn’t catch fire, killing Josh in their fifth floor apartment, that he didn’t run back to see his fiance was alright, that he didn’t see his building as a flaming pile of rubble, that he searched and searched but never found Josh. He is happy to have Phil, of course, but he can pretend the things that brought them together never happened. 

Phil can imagine he’s back home, grading papers of his students, wishing he has pursued film. He can pretend he’s back in his lecture hall, speaking on the flaws and shortcomings of Charles Dickens. He can pretend that he went out that night, brought someone home, and had fun. Maybe even that one day he would manage to stay with someone for more than a month or just for sex. He can pretend he didn’t walk home alone that evening from work, that he didn’t duck into an ally to avoid a woman he had never called back. That being in that ally saved his life, he can pretend he didn’t hide there for many nights until Dan reached a soft hand out to him. 

Everyone can make believe that they haven't lost their way of life forever. Until Dan and his group go to the surface, London looks as it did before. But the second Dan poked his head through the grate, his face falls, he is forced to remember reality, as his hands touch the soot on the street he remembers how he felt in that second. You can see it on the soldiers faces as they come up one by one, their pain depending as many do the sign of the cross, hold a charm, or otherwise pray to any god they may believe in. Dan stands and says a silent goodbye to Josh every time, then he would motion for movement, and they would go. 

Dan remembers this feeling as the muck starts to drain through the grates, he sits with his eyes shut, listening to it. He has to go on a mission again in two days and he is unsure of his capability to continue like this, unsure he could take it much longer. 

Then he thinks of Phil, kind, wide eyed, Phil. A man who also lost everything, a man who he found cowering behind a dumpster, a man who has since popped back. A man who radiates light. A man who makes the hell they live in not as bad.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> muah gay shit, nothing of importance, a filler chapter. Next chapter Dan goes out and then the real shit's gonna happen, this will probably only have five ish more chapters I don't really know it's only kinda planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning there's like an almost sex scene (make out) still don't know if I wanna do actual smut but hey I implyed some sexual stuff because fuck it.

Phil runs towards his boyfriend, his face red and smiley as he knocks into Dan. It’s midday by now and the ceiling is still dripping, cooling the cave like environment even more and most people wrap their blankets around them against the cold.

“Hey,” Dan says, giggling, as he puts his hands on either of the older man's arms. 

“I’m done for the day,” Phil says, leaning closer to him so that Dan could feel his warm breath. 

“Let’s go back,” Dan says, hastily, his eyes darting around the immediate area in paranoia. He knows nothing really bad would happen, but he’s somehow still worried about someone finding out. Dan was never afraid to show his love up there, but something about this atmosphere fucks with his head. 

The two enter Dans sliding door, flopping onto the worn, dirty, twin sized mattress. They talk and laugh, telling their typical stories about their day and about their past. They cuddle quietly, both men still overjoyed to have someone to share this hell with. Well, Phil would not say hell after experiencing living on the surface and surviving off rainwater and old, semi-preserved food. Now he has a bed, regular meals and once a week he can bathe. Dan, however, had never experienced worse, he grew up middle class and was among the first down here. Although it has gotten better since the beginning, it currently has the stench of a sewer caused by the rain, it’s dimly lit at best, he is constantly sick and has somehow both the most dystopian and primitive job in history. 

But they avoid these topics, Phil leaning over to kiss Dan. They kiss slowly, but passionately, like an obnoxious straight couple in a mediocre romance movie. Phil moves on top of him as it deepens, both men somewhat thrilled by the idea of intimacy. 

After a few more minutes, they’re startled by the sound which signifies dinner, reluctantly separating. They walk towards the central area to eat rather uncomfortably. They eat quickly and by the end feeling better and chatting. They hold hands and laugh as they walk back, despite the muck, it’s a happy moment. They both fall asleep quickly and softly, well fed and somewhat comfortable. 

Dan has a particularly bad nightmare, Phil wakes up to see Dan’s face covered in sweat and tears. Most people down here have them, it’s more than common with probably about 90% of people here completely fucked up from everything that has happened, Dan and Phil amongst the worst of them. The conscious man tries to stay calm as he lightly shakes Dan, who’s breathing is rapid as he squirms. He shakes him harder and begins saying his name until finally, after what felt like one of the longest minutes in Phils life, Dan wakes up. He props himself on his elbows and sits up, barely groggy at all. He looks at Phil through bloodshot eyes, before, suddenly, they both break down into quiet sobs. Dan wouldn’t talk about the dream, he only remembered parts of it anyway. His mind had brought him back, brought him to the surface. He had seen Josh, his dark eyes, darker than his own, shining in the sunlight, he remembered everything crashing down, running, than the pain, he felt so much pain. He’s still crying when Phil falls back asleep, he knows the blue-eyed man had tried to stay up to help but that he had to give in at some point, both men were abnormally tired and yet Dan couldn’t get back to sleep. His thoughts haunted by seeing his fiance die night after night. He has to say, it was nice to have someone there for him when it happened, it’s important to him to have Phil. 

What Dan didn’t know, is Phil has had nightmares almost every single time he closes his eyes. Being on the surface in the immediate aftermath was what Phil had convinced himself Hell looked like. Ratty people, children and adults alike, running wild, looking for anything to eat or anyone to help them. And he was hiding, watching it all from an illusion of safety. He never helped, even if he could, out of fear. That’s what haunted him most of all, he let people die out of selfish fear. As scared as he was the day he was brought here, he doesn’t dare to imagine what may have happened had he not been found. It’s almost definite he would be dead by now, he shivers at the thought. 

The morning comes after a long night, Dan and Phil get dressed and hurry out, both having had a rough night. It’s a bathing day, which Dan finds to be an inconvenient timing considering he has to go out tomorrow and will undoubtedly be disgusting in twenty-four hours. He also hates that they only get to bathe approximately once a week, he is in a constant state of disgust with himself and those around him. He fully comprehends that it fucks the water supply for that night but they could just take buckets and do a kind of sponge bath, which is for some reason considered incredibly taboo. 

Most everyone wears underwear in an attempt to hang onto some humility, as well as cleaning it on them, their other clothes only being rinsed with no soap to preserve the homemade and limited supply. By this time, all the dye is out of Phil’s hair and he feels self conscious about everyone seeing the natural ginger colour he hasn't sported since secondary school. 

Dan and Phil get in, submerging themselves in the cold water and covering themselves with their worn, homemade soap bars. Dan lingers, shutting his eyes and feeling the water around him. He knows this is still not even close to as clean as he would be in his old life, but this is as good as it gets for him now. 

Phil plays with his too long, too ginger, too greasy hair with one hand as him and Dan walk back, both still only in boxers as they don’t want to put on the wet ratty clothes.

“You’re hair still looks fine,” Dan says, who had seen some of the original dye that remained when he found Phil, now only a few splotches of a mucky black remained and he knew those would all be gone by the end of the week. 

“Don’t lie, I look so much hotter with it dyed,” Phil says, exasperated with the minor thing, not because he really can’t stand his natural hair in the damn apocalypse, but because he misses the consistency and regularity of his dyed hair. 

“You still look really good,” Dan says, shutting his door behind them, as they hang up their clothes. He looks at Phil, his eyes turning the same shade they were when they got cut off the other day. 

“You too,” Phil bit his lip, noticing Dan’s look and moving closer, they’re already almost naked, most people are still out and about so they quickly move to the bed. 

+++

This time when they leave for dinner, they’re blissful and laughing. Neither of the men had done really anything since before the event, well over a month ago, hence they were unnaturally happy about having fooled around. 

They eat alone, as always, neither truly feeling the need to make more close friends. Phil also knows Gloria and Alyssa for when Dan is out and Dan having known Alyssa and the few people from his surface group as well as the originals like Beth. 

They go back and read together a bit, Dan being the one who could make out the words in the dim light, Phil struggling even in a well lit room because of his broken glasses. He knows Dan will be gone before he even wakes up, the few lights in the place lighting up Dans worried face, the rain has stopped yet he knows it will be drearier than average there. He’s glad Phil doesn’t have to go through it as they drift off, wrapped in one another's long arms, worry washing over them like the waves of a rough sea, as if to signify that a storm was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder everyone has natural hair that isn't getting cut often if it all, glasses and at least stubble but it's up to you how much you think's there. 
> 
> I'm also editing and shit now, I know it's still flawed but better :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to focus on this until I finish it, maybe a couple one shots on the way. I never finish shit so this time I am determined.
> 
> TW for implied death (not major character)

Dan climbs to the surface, reminding himself that this is his job, and an important job at that. The sky is still cloudy and the earth mucky, the atmosphere is over all awful and the wind is still strong.

“Alright, we are going to have to do this as fast as possible,” Dan says, turning to his troop, “By which I mean come back here as soon as you’re done, no straggling, no extra searching and make sure to be back within two hours” Dan looks over the stony faced crowd standing in front of him on the desolate landscape, “Move out.” 

Dan goes about his business quickly, it looks like it’s only the eye of the storm. He’s never had to be out in extremely bad weather and when it starts to drizzle he yells out to hurry, worrying about how stormy this could be getting. 

He runs back, doing a quick head count, he mutters under his breath upon realizing that they are one person short. 

“Has anyone seen Sean?” He yells over the now deafening wind, the rain is getting stronger as well and he doesn’t know what to do, they absolutely have to get inside before it gets any worse. 

After a quick search, no one can find Sean in the surrounding area and he doesn’t hear them calling. 

“Howell, what the fuck are we doing?” Someone yells, Dan’s head is spinning, he’s lost people before but never on a small journey. Besides that, Sean is his friend and knows not to straggle, something happened. 

“I think,” Dan says, still pondering his options, however it’s clear they cannot stay out here, “We may have to leave him,” His voice comes out defeated and can barely be heard over the crash of the thunder and the splatter of the rain. “He can get through himself when he gets back,” He tries to sound optimistic as he opens the grate. 

“What if he’s lost?” Muriel yells, putting her hand over Dans, her green eyes shining through the rain, clearly worried about her friend, “He won’t be able to see enough to get back in this and he could die if he doesn’t get in!”

“I’m sorry,” Dan’s voice breaks a little bit, he feels her heart breaking through their small attachment, “But we could die too,” He rips open the grate, making sure Muriel went down first. In an attempt to help, he shines his flashlight in the air for a few moments, trying to guide Sean back. Part of him hopes Sean had the wits to take shelter and would be back once it calms down. 

The cavern is a wreck, the mucky substance that leaks down the walls is gathering on the floor, the other two troops had gone out a few minutes ago to try and stop it but the grates they would need to cover are the source of air and if less got in it could cause issues. They stuff a few, leaving the ones that won’t do much harm to have much under open. 

Dan sighs, going to change out of his drenched clothes and hang them up. He then goes to meet Beth, who is found comforting a hysterical Muriel as well as Sean's’ mother, Patricia. Dan inhales and bites his lip, hating what he has to do and feeling increasingly sorry. 

“Beth, with my deepest regrets I have to say we left Sean on the surface. We were incapable of finding him and it was becoming increasingly dangerous, we can only hope for his safe re-” And that’s when Patricia slaps Dan 

“How dare you leave my son?” She yells, Dan knows any response would be a lost cause on the mid fifties aged woman, he looks at his feet in the busted sneakers. 

“He wouldn’t let us stay and wait!” Muriel cries, this pisses Dan off. He understands she lost someone incredibly close to her, however she knows damn well what happened. 

“We looked for him, called his name and signaled, however it was a lost cause, no one could hear and we were endangering more lives,” He says, trying to sound authoritative, “I know how it feels to loose someone close to you, however we did all we could,” Dan doesn’t even think about it but both women immediately pick up on his mentioning of ‘lost’. 

“You’re saying my son is dead?!?” Patricia yells, spitting in Dan’s face.

“No, he could come back I just mean-” Dan’s voice is panicked as his heart rate picks up. 

Beth puts her hand up, “Okay, General Howell, you made the right decision, despite the horrid outcome,” She says, catching the attention of both women, who look at her as if she is Lucifer himself. She says to Dan in a low voice, “Go get some rest, I know it was difficult on you, too,” She turns to Muriel, “I don’t think you are fit for missions, rest a few days and then we will find you a better suited job,” Dan hurries away before the conversation progresses. 

Muriel has never been good for missions, she has the physical capabilities, even kind of the mental ones, however she was selfish beyond what you could ever even imagine. The loss would not have mattered to her if it wasn’t someone she cared for, the second something got difficult for her, or wouldn’t benefit her, she slacked off. He had reported this to Beth, however she dismissed it considering Muriel did most of her requirements. 

He falls onto his mattress, he won’t cry until he knows for sure of Sean’s return or lack of it. He is lying there, thinking about Josh and how he never even got the chance to mourn someone he loved for so long, when the door opens. 

Phil sits on the end of the bed, silently looking at him, not expectantly, but as if he’s waiting for the words to say.

“I heard about Sean,” He says, finally, “I’m sorry,” Dan sits up, holding Phil’s newly calloused hand. 

“I hope he’s okay,” Dan sighs, “But it’s so unlikely,” Phil nods, rubbing his hand. They sit in silence until the sound for dinner rings through their ears, “I’m not-” Dan says as Phil stands up, “Can’t face them after i’ve lost someone else,” On all his missions, he had lost four people total, all on twenty four hour or longer missions, never had one just wandered off. But now Sean was the fifth person he lost, on a minor mission, without a definitive death. They left him on Dan’s call, and he could not deal with it. 

“Okay,” Phil says, sitting down again, “Then I’ll stay with you,” 

Dan hugs Phil, “I love you” He hears himself say it before he even thinks the words.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at pacing so there's probably only going to be one more chapter but I might make a squeal??? Idk

Phil sits still, feeling himself tense up. Very few people have said that to him before, he knows how you're supposed to respond, however he doesn’t say the words. He doesn’t know if he loves Dan, he thinks he may and either way he’s a very compassionate person. He wants to, yet he feels his throat close, like a thick ball is rolling down it. 

“Right back at ya!” He says, incredibly awkwardly, feeling a blush spread over his face, “I mean, I love you too, sorry I’m-” Dan chuckles, pulling him in for a kiss. They sit there in silence, both attempting, and failing, to gather their bearings and emotions. Dan pulls them down, sleepily as he lays on top of Phil in an almost protective fashion as he wraps his arms and legs around the slightly shorter man. 

They fall asleep to the tangy echoes of the rain splattering above them and flowing of murky water through the grates. It’s almost pleasant in that they are nearly familiar sounds, however the differences make it an eerie noise, a constant reminder of where they are. 

The morning comes and Dan has a headache as if he had a strong hangover. The air smells of mud and it’s still raining. When they step out they see the large puddles forming, an immediate anxiety hits Dan as he grabs Phil’s arm and starts searching for Beth. 

He finds her chatting with a few others, he waits his turn while ignoring Phil’s strange looks. 

“Beth,” It’s finally his turn before he realizes she probably knows what he was about to say, “This is going to flood, I think that may have been it’s point. We’re sitting ducks here, we need to find somewhere else to go, at least temporarily,” He says, knowing they couldn’t get anywhere in this rain. He thinks back to longer missions, “There’s a place about a two hours walk from here, if it clears up we ca-”

“Nonsense, General Howell,” Her voice is firm, and yet worried, “We will stay right here, they’re working on a system to stop the water from getting in,” Dan tries to protest but Phil pulls at his arm. 

Everyone is on edge and by midday, there is a thin layer of water throughout the whole compound. Those without a mattress are simply advised to find someone to share with and not to worry. Everyone except cooks and those who care for animals have the day completely off. Phil does his job quickly and rejoins Dan, who he finds backing his mission bag. 

“Phil, I just have a really bad feeling about this, pack up a bit, for me?” He says, giving Phil a warm and supportive hug. 

“I can’t go back up there,” Phil smiles, “Either way, I don’t have anything besides the journal you gave me,” He holds it out to Dan, who places it snuggly in his bag, which is less than half full. Dan explains he’ll need the rest of the space to carry food. 

By dinner, there is just under an inch of water and everyone, though they don’t say it, is in a state of panic. Most of them have packed up their stuff and will be sleeping in their clothes that night. Beth and the other somewhat incharge people, besides Dan, attempt to stay composed. You can tell they have no idea what they were going to do, however they insisted that they did. It was almost comical to watch, it would have been had their lives not been in their hands. 

They go back to their little hut, not even taking their muddy shoes before getting into bed, just making sure they hang off one end, despite the mattress being ruined and that they don’t even dare think that they’ll have another night here. 

The whole area is one big ball of anxiety, everyone sitting on edge. Religious people praying, everyone else hoping, no one sleeping. It feels as if they are all just sitting still as they wait for a storm, knowing they will have to take action, but prolonging doing such a thing. 

“Dan,” Phil’s voice is barely a whisper, the rain hasn’t stopped by any sense of the word, it’s weather none of them have ever seen. 

“Yeah,” Dan says, feeling the cold increase suddenly.

“I’m scared,” Phil squeezes Dan’s hand for support. They hold one another closely, wishing for any other reality, sleep, or truly any other release. 

The morning doesn’t come, Dan awakes when a bit of water hits him, it’s reached about five inches and the rain is only getting harder. The thin mattress is soaked through, he wakes Phil and they stand up, they’re backs soaked and they shiver. The two men walk out and see many people lingering about, well over fifty percent with bags or small bundles of belongings. 

Beth is still pacing, still pretending to know a logical course of action. Most people are insisting upon making a rope and walking out into the rain. The few blocked entrances have bursts and Dan can tell they would be swimming by this time tomorrow. Waiting out the rain is no longer an option. The debris in the water pools at his feet and he makes the executive decision to have his troop wake everyone who is still unconscious as to avoid death and hopefully decrease the risk of hypothermia. 

Many people get coats from wherever they can, Dan has one for the surface so he finds one for Phil, it’s slightly too small but will have to do. The walls cause the sounds to echo they all wait anxiously as the rain slows and then speeds up. No one could possibly tell what time it was, they all know they have to go. Everyone is in the central area, it is suggested to barricade an area with just enough space for them without any vents, however who knows how long this could go on, they would die in there. 

Most everybody knows they have to just leave, there is no way to continue life down here. They could go to the old school at first and then head further off once it lets up. The streets aren't flooded, and the surface won’t flood at all. Yet, Beth and the others barely entertain the idea, though the majority of the population has long ago accepted it as the only option. 

Phil holds Dan firmly against his side, neither of them caring if others see the public affection. Right now is like the sequel to the end of the world and everyone knows it. Beth doesn’t seem to be able to stand that her civilisation could be destroyed, Dan knows it’s important to her, but she needs to look around. It’s already too far gone.

The general population, and a somewhat shunned Dan, are not addressed until the water is to Dan’s calf, about nine inches up. Beth finally admits they have to leave, and they all begin to tie any ropes together, They all hold it like small children on a class trip. 

The whole room looks anxiously around as they grab their section of rope, this is it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter but I may make a squeal ??? I dunno, I've never written a squeal but i have also never finished a fic before. Enjoy ! It is a shorter chapter because again, i am shit at pacing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resfeber (Swedish)- an anxiety in anticipation to a journey

Everyone holds tightly to the rope, a feeling of resfeber washing over them all as they look towards the open grate. 

Most of them haven’t been out since they found their way here, for many, it’s been two or three months, and they would rather never have to see the ruins of their home again. Dan and many others who regularly leave are anxious as well, they always got to return to the safety of a different, and separate, world. Now, the rubble they left behind would be their home. 

Gloria struggles up the ladder slowly, thinking back to the day this all started. Everyone is nervously reminiscing in their own way, all Phil can think of is how he lived for almost a month before Dan found him. 

The first people make it out the grate while many are still on the ground, about a foot of water has gathered and the ladder is slippery so it is taking some time. Dan was last, he is in charge of making sure everyone goes and is okay. Naturally, Phil stays back with him, not even considering trying to face this alone. 

The rain pelts against Beth’s face as she, unceremoniously, gets out first. The cold has a way to soak into your skin as one of the other troop leaders tells her where to go. They start walking against the harsh wind, the line of people all in different states of panic. 

Phil and Dan stand silently, their turn is soon and they feel a pull on the rope, Dan ignores Beth’s call to hurry up, if they had left when he said they would be in safety by now. As well as the fact that rushing could cause more injuries. 

By the time Phil puts his foot on the first rung, his heart is racing, he looks up at the line of people ahead of him and then back at Dan. He takes a deep breath before starting up, everything is surreal as he prepares himself to enter a world he never thought he would return to. 

With every rung, he becomes more tired, his limbs falling like led. There are people on the surface now, he is about to trek through what used to be a bustling city to what used to be a school, however it is all just rubble and muck now. 

When he finally reaches the last rung, he can’t help but pause. He looks up, the rain glossing over his face and cracked glasses, he can see the sky and the outlines of buildings. He looks back at his home for the last month or so, now flooded with a bit over a foot of water that he knows will only grow. He looks back at Dan, who gives him a reassuring smile.

The rope gives another tug and he has to continue on, he clambers onto the surface and feels the rain wash over his whole body. A new section of the apocalypse is about to begin for them and he’s ready for whatever is to come.


End file.
